Milestonesforlife

Well, we’re all struggling with this one!

Just how much allowance should we give our children? The answer is none!

Allowance should be EARNED and not given or expected! Allowance should not be used to reward good grades or sports wins…and when your child’s allowance is spent,,it’s gone.

Experts agree that you can start discussing money with your child as soon as they understand it (age 5+). However, you will quickly learn that they already have a foundation around money from your unspoken behavior at home, its benefits and frustrations. Start by getting them a piggy bank which they can put birthday moneys into graduating to a bank account, accordingly.

Teach them the value of money by associating it with certain tasks around the house.  If you compute the value of money w/ min wage, it equates to about 10 cents/minute.  Chores can be assigned a value based on how long they take to complete. ie raking the yard - $3-$5, keeping room clean/trash removal - $2.50 every other week, etc.

When your child asks for money or a toy, deduct the money from their bank account. If there is no money available, then none should be given. You can give them a job to earn the money if you really want them to have something ,,,vs giving them money!

…and remember no credit cards,,,use a debit card instead!

It’s that part of the day again. One that both parent and child have come to dread - > Homework!

If that sounds familiar? then it only gets worse from there. Your child inherits your views on many things including homework. Here are some positive tips to help…

1. Always have your child do their homework in the same location every day. Preferably at a desk, in a quiet area, away from noise and other distractions.

2. Allow a minimum of 30-60 minutes each night. If sports, scouts or other activites intervine, ensure homework is done at school or before the activity.

3. Encourage learning activities in the car commute.  Replace toys/videos with books, flash cards and learning games.

4. Keep homework fun. Typically start with most difficult assignment (s) first (ie math) and then move to lighter subjects requiring less energy. Encourage use of computer to help (ie google on math flashcards, reading games, etc).

5. Ensure your child is well fed which will help with their energy level.

6. Keep frustration to a minimum. Encourage independent work teaching them to come back to difficult problems.

7. Above all, check their work! Correctness is just as important as completeness! Encourage neatness as you are teaching them how to present themselves to the outside world.

Enjoy!

Don’t be surprised when your toddler starts asking questions you thought were years beyond their comprehension…questions about body parts? divorce? adoption? same sex parents? human nature? skin color? handicaps? elderly?

Don’t shy away from those questions because your child needs to hear honest answers from you. He/She is formulating their view of the world (including prejudices) based on your answers…And don’t answer more than they ask,,,they will come back with more questions once they have digested what you’ve told them.

Most importantly,,, be ready for your answers to show up on the school playground the next day! Everything from who you want to win the presidential election to who you’re rooting for in the World Series or Superbowl is fair game for your child to exploit to their friends!

Be a good parent and educate them on all sides of a story! Wisdom is Power!

It’s that time of year again when school is in full swing and the Scouts are already planning their first Camping Trip!

Scouting is a wonderful way to teach your youngster(s) about community service, survival and leadership. I worked my way up through the scouting ranks to weblo earning the different merit badges for various accomplishments.  It really helped me link academia with the real world.

Scouting is typically offered through your child’s school or church at around age six (first grade).  Our particular school has a unique program in that they meet every two weeks as a pack (instead of weekly den meetings). We first say the pledge of allegance together and then divide off into dens where each week a different mom or dad is responsible for leading the meeting. This way, we are never at a loss for volunteers and it cuts down on the expenses for the den leaders.

I would love to hear any ideas you can share about your scouting experience. 

For more information on scouting in your community visit girlscouts.org or scouting.org

Your child will love it!  

It helps to know how children learn when trying to teach them something. Children learn primarily one of three ways…

- By example

- By repetition

- Through Play

This brings us back to our fundamental parenting concept, your children are watching you whether you realize it or not. “Do as I say” and “not as I do” just doesn’t work well with a pre-schooler. You are the role model for your children which is why many issues such as alcohol use, drug use and smoking are passed down through each generation. 

Try turning difficult tasks into play like “sharing” or  ”taking turns”.  Once your little one enters the first grade, repetition especially on schoolwork (math, spelling words) will serve as a key learning tool.

I hear many parents say my child is misbehaving or my child isn’t listening. My first response back is “Have you taught them what is expected?”

We get so busy in our lives that we fail to take the time to teach our children what is expected. As an example, we need to teach them how to behave in public places such as restaurants. We need to teach them how to whisper in church. We can’t be annoyed at our children if we haven’t taught them proper behavior first.  

Wouldn’t it be nice if they just learned how to tie their shoes on their own? or if they learned to ”potty train” on their own? It’s doesn’t happen that way.

They are looking at you for their model of behavior. ”Walk the walk” you want your children to follow.  

Most cavities in children occur on the biting surfaces of teeth. Sealants, which are clear or shaded plastic coatings that protect the grooves on the biting surface, can eliminate these cavities.

As long as the sealant is in place, there is virtually a 100 percent chance of no decay. They can last as long as 10 years (avg duration 4 yrs) and have been around for 25 years. When they wear out, you put new ones on!

Now why didn’t my dentist tell me about that? Ask your dentist today!

Facts: Only 50% of children (ages 0-12) are Cavity-free in America.

A common mistake new parents make with their children is “asking” their child to do something vs “telling” their child to do something. You see, the problem lies with the fact that regardless of how the child answers the question, you still want them to complete the task.

Mark’s Monday Milestone: Tell…Don’t ASK! As a result of positive commands, you will be setting expectations appropriately and not ending up in a battle of ”No” vs ”because I said so”

Helpful Tips: Tell them what to do…vs what not to do.

For example,,,Walk,,,vs Stop Running,,,,Whisper,,vs Stop talking

Also, use the tone of your voice to encourage immediate results. Your first command might be in your speaking voice (warning),,next command (should be louder and intent). Ensure you have your childs attention first before talking and avoid yelling from another room in the house.

Enjoy!

I don’t know about you,,,but why is meal time such a struggle? We are constantly shoveling food in our children’s mouth because they won’t eat on time or enough food….says who?

It is very easy for parents to bring unease and frustration to meal time…our children sense this and react accordingly. Once we learned to portion our childs food into smaller portions such that he could complete a meal…it made us happy ,,,which made him happy.

We learned the hard way, children aren’t always hungry when we are (7AM, noon and 5PM). We are now ok w/ smaller portions and snacks along the way. 

Set limits! We have a limit in our house - no more than 1.5-2hrs per day….so when you come in to turn off the television (enforcing boundary), there is no argument!

At the same time, offer alternatives - computer, reading, playing, coloring, drawing, cards, games, etc. Encourage them to use their imagination. At age 6, my youngster is becoming fluent at checkers, chess and cards….they just need the introduction.