Milestonesforlife

Being open with our children is an important ingredient in the parenting process. Children have a need to know what is happening in their family as things start to take on different forms such as divorce, job loss, relocation or even death of a loved one.

They need to know that the problems the family is now facing are not their fault. They need to know how to emotionally handle the changed environment at an age appropriate level. They also need to know what the changes may be and what provisions will be made for them…in other words, set expectations accordingly!

Since our children are constantly looking to us for queues and imitating our behavior, how we handle difficult times will most likely mirror our behavior and child relationships before the difficult times hit. If we were open and honest, transition will be easier than if we have hidden agendas and are covering lies.

When in doubt, network with friends who have been faced with similar experiences and learn from them. We will all get through it. However, for some, it’s easier to get through than for others because of the relationships/bonds already in place.  

Well, we’ve all heard that one before,,,but it’s never so timely as now!!!

My child came down with an acute case of anxiety disorder this week,,,and I’m wondering where did that come from? I know that I’ve been terribly non-attentive this week with deadlines approaching and several short term projects due at work…Wait, a Minute,,,,I believe I know where it came from!

With this and the economy on everyone’s mind, i’m trying to get my son outside more and engaged in more play to offset both our stress levels….and age 6 -10 presents perfect teaching moments for - Quitters Never Win!

Whether it’s T-ball or soccer, chess or music lessons, it’s important to encourage completion of our children’s lessons in their daily lives. Fast forward to today,,,and that’s the only way I’m getting through it! Longer hours, shorter deadlines and more stress,,,i’m lucky i have the discipline to draw on from my childhood! 

We always hear about how we’re a product of our environment…and some of us came from such child focused families like myself - the traditional Irish Catholic -that’s its hard to break the behavior. Not that anything is wrong with it!

Sometimes, however, we can become so child focused, that we forget our spouses along the way.  Children truly learn from healthy parental relationships, not from doting or being spoiled.

Being on the road, it is a very tight walk between spending time with your child, your spouse and downtime for yourself…and sometimes, even though I spend time with them, it’s more chore related than quality time.

I guess what I’m trying to say is - make the time you spend with your spouse and children quality time (vs quantity time). Quality time goes a long way.

Just think back to your fondest childhood memories! I can’t remember the gifts I received along the way but I can remember the people in my life and especially the ones that had a big influence in my life (including teachers).