Milestonesforlife

I know. It sounds foreign doesn’t it? We all want our children to succeed to their fullest potential. Why would we deliberately let our children make mistakes?

Well, kids need to make mistakes, experience the consequences, then get the chance to make a different decision. Whether its forgetting the homework, leaving for school without a jacket or missing a meal, as long as their decision is not life-threatening, they should be allowed to mess up. Then you can witness first hand how mature they are on thier next attempt.

My little 6 year old cut his finger on a jack knife at our first cub scout camping trip (see blog dated Nov 24th, 2008) . I didn’t even know other kids were allowed to have jack knives at that age. Long story short, my son is very careful around knives especially when emptying the dishwasher.

So,,,next time you’re about to correct a behavior,,play it through to determine if there’s any teachable moments.  

I was asked about Divorce and the Holidays the other day…and how difficult it was for each parent to compete with the other. Fortunately, I’m not dealing with that but rather another issue - an inter-faith relationship.

I posed these questions to Dr Kathi who had a totally different take on both - I expected nothing different. She said (without missing a beat),,,what a perfect time for parents to start new traditions with their children. Whether a parent finds him/herself in a new relationship, a new town, starting over or celebrating two holidays for the first time, our children will remember the time spent rather than the money spent. 

The one-on-one time and relationship between child and parent needs to be re-established and there is no need to hold onto expectations as to how things once were or how things are supposed to be - things only are as you make them. Expectations are self-imposed and not the expectations of our children. If we’re happy and committed to our children, it’s an easy thing for our children to embrace accordingly.

Well, by now, if you’re like me, you’re probably caught up in the craziness of the Holidays. Never a spare moment. Running from tree trimming to gift shopping to decorating…and how are we going to afford all those gifts that our kids want?

Well, this Holiday season, I’m a little less crazy because they’re not getting all those gifts they think they’re entitled to. I’ve come to realize that the only expectations we’re letting down are our own. So what if our children don’t get everything on their list…did they really expect to? and if so, who set those expectations?

I’m using the holidays as a perfect time to teach my 6 yr old about the value of money and giving. I made him buy the lego cargo airplane he wanted for $40 out of his own money that he earned. He earns $5 for washing my car so that plane means he had to wash my car 8 times.

He then realized how expensive that plane was.

But are our kids really measuring us by the amount of gifts they receive? or will they remember the time spent with us singing at parties, playing games together and having fun!

My bet is on the latter! so don’t sweat the gift agenda,,it really doesn’t matter,,only to you! 

Is is possible to push your child into a sport before he or she is ready?

Yes, that’s my son in the soccer picture. Age 3. The one crying on the end. I think it was Dad that wanted to be there more than him. Why not,,i was reliving my childhood. I loved the thrill of coaching. I forgot one thing. Everyone was having fun (including me) except my son.

Don’t get angry at me! It’s tough when you have to compete with every kid on the block! I finally found that by allowing my child to pick sports that he wanted to play, he was more apt to enjoy himself and excel. The past two years its been swimming and tennis. Hard to believe that a 5 year old can swim 20 laps in an Olympic size pool.

 …and finally this year,,he’s coming around to baseball. My favorite (I was a Babe Ruth all star). Sometimes I forget myself when I’m out there knocking kids over to make a play. Then, I remember, where is my son. Oh yea,,he’s over on the playground. Who’s agenda is this anyway?

I heard that by age 7, they finally start to like it,,,so I’m still hopeful! sigh…